Humour

How much dowry do you expect?

Your daughter being a Government servant, I do not expect any dowry!

*****

My dear son, you are a man now!  You should act no more like a child!

I know that Dad, but it is said; to enter the Kingdom of Heaven, one has to become like a child!

*****

How come your brother is much more qualified than you?

The reason is that I spent most of my youth hanging around the dames!!

*****

I agree that science students are smarter than arts students with the exception of a few.  But this does not mean that you are smarter than me!

*****

That son of yours is very handsome!

You should tell that to his wife!

His wife says that I should tell that to you!!

*****

I say you are a nut.

I say you are a monkey.

Then you must be a monkey-nut!

*****

I wanted to become a Doctor, but I missed the opportunity in not getting admission by a few marks.

I must thank God for that; otherwise, I would not have had the chance of marrying you!

*****

Who do the people of our town consider the richest man now?

To be very frank, unware that I am a pauper, they consider me as the richest!

*****

I am worried because the bride has not yet reached the Church!!

Fear not, my man; if she does not reach the Church, your marriage will not take place!

*****

You are like an Angel!

Please don't say it again because earlier I was like a devil!!

*****

Being so fair and beautiful, why does she like dark complexioned boys?

Because she is already friendly with a fair and handsome one!

*****

I understand you have given lunch to my sister in a five-star hotel!!!

Yes darling, but I did it because you refused to come with me!!

*****

Would you believe me that my best friend Tom betrayed me?

Please don't tell me anything about him for he is my cousin!!

*****

When you are only a Stenographer, why are you taking the reference books of Officers?

I also want to be an Officer!

*****

Would you mind doing this small typing of mine?

Of course not!  I can never say "no" to you for you bring me matrimonial proposals!

*****

 

 Thanks

 By Samson Fernandes

 

RSS    GOOGLE GADGET

The world's smartest man !!!

A pilot, Michael Jordon, Bill Gates, the Pope, and a pizza delivery man were all in a plane together traveling through stormy conditions.

 

Suddenly, the pilot came running back to the passengers and announced that lightning had hit the plane, and they were going to crash in a matter of minutes.

 

 "There are only enough parachutes for four of the five of us," he announced.

 

 "Since I'm the pilot, I get one!" After saying this, the pilot grabbed a parachute and jumped out of the plane.

 

"I'm the world's greatest athlete," proclaimed Michael Jordon. "This world needs great athletes, so I must live." Michael Jordon then grabbed a parachute and leaped out of the plane.

 

"I'm the smartest man in the world," bragged Bill Gates. "The world needs smart men, so I must also live!" Bill Gates grabbed a parachute and jumped out of the plane.

 

At this point, the Pope began to speak. "I have lived a long life compared to you, and you may take the last parachute. I will go down with the plane."

 

"You don't have to stay here! The world's smartest man jumped out of the plane with my backpack."

 

RSS    GOOGLE GADGET

 

SmileJokes of the Day For March 12, 2008

An elderly woman walked into the local country church the friendly usher greeted her at the door and helped her up the flight of steps.

"Where would you like to sit?" he asked politely.

"The front row please," she answered.

 

"You really don't want to do that", the usher said. "The pastor is really boring."

"Do you happen to know who I am?" the woman inquired.

"No," he said.

"I'm the pastor’s mother,” she replied indignantly.

"Do you know who I am?" he asked.

"No," she said.

"Good," he answered.

 

Doctor Jokes

Doctor: Nurse, how is that little boy doing, the one who swallowed ten quarters?

Nurse: No change yet.

***

Patient: Doctor, I think I swallowed a pillow.

Doctor: How do you feel?

Patient: A little down in the mouth.

***

Patient: Doctor, what should I do if my temperature goes up a point or more?

Doctor: Sell!

***

Patient: My hair keeps falling out. What can you give me to keep it in?

Doctor: A shoebox.

***

Patient: Doctor, you must help me. I'm under such a lot of stress; I keep losing my temper with people.

Doctor: Tell me about your problem.

Patient: I just did, didn't I, you stupid SOB!!!!!

***

Patient to optometrist: I'm very worried about the outcome of this operation, doctor. What are the chances?

Optometrist to patient: Don't worry; you won't be able to see the difference.

***

 

Thanks

Mala

 

 

 

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