Brooklyn

It was the beginning of term at a primary school in Brooklyn. The teacher asked the children their names one at a time, and for each to spell their name out loud. When she came to a young Pakastani boy and asked his name.....

 

"Ravashanka Vankatarataam Bannerjee" he replied.

 

"How do you spell that? Asked the teacher.

 

"My mother helps me" said the little boy.

SmileJokes of the Day For Feb 20, 2008

Ding Dong

 

The doorbell rang this morning...

 

 

When I opened the door, there was my mother-in-law on the front step.

 

 

She said, "Can I stay here for a few days?"

 

 

I said, "Sure you can." and shut the door in her face.

Do You Have The Time

 

 

A man is strolling past the mental hospital and suddenly remembers an important meeting.

 

Unfortunately, his watch has stopped, and he cannot tell if he is late or not. Then, he notices a patient similarly strolling about within the hospital fence.

 

Calling out to the patient, the man says, "Pardon me, sir, but do you have the time?"

 

The patient calls back, "One moment!" and throws himself upon the ground, pulling out a short stick as he does. He pushes the stick into the ground, and, pulling out a carpenter's level, assures himself that the stick is vertical.

 

With a compass, the patient locates north and with a steel ruler, measures the precise length of the shadow cast by the stick.

 

Withdrawing a slide rule from his pocket, the patient calculates rapidly, then swiftly packs up all his tools and turns back to the pedestrian, saying, "It is now precisely 3:29 pm, provided today is August 16th, which I believe it is."

 

The man can't help but be impressed by this demonstration, and sets his watch accordingly.

 

Before he leaves, he says to the patient, "That was really quite remarkable, but tell me, what do you do on a cloudy day, or at night, when the stick casts no shadow?" The patient holds up his wrist and says, "I suppose I'd just look at my watch."

Blonde Joke

A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, 'Please come over here
and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how
to get started.'

Her boyfriend asks, 'What is it supposed to be when it's finished?'

The blonde says, 'According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster.'

Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle.

She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over
The table.

He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns
To her and says, 'First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going
to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a
Rooster.'

He takes her hand and says, 'Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a
Nice cup of tea, and then  ...' he said with a deep sigh, . .. . ... ..
.. .

'Let's put all the Corn Flakes back in the box.'

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Thanks

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