Friday, February 29, 2008

SmileJokes of the Day For Feb 29, 2008

Friday, February 29, 2008 0

An eccentric philosophy professor gave a one question final exam after a
semester dealing with a broad array of topics.
The class was already seated and ready to go when the prof picked up his
chair, plopped it on his desk, and wrote on the board, "Using everything
we
have learned this semester, prove that this chair does not exist."

Fingers flew, erasers erased, blue books were filled in furious fashion.
Some
students wrote over 30 pages in one hour attempting to refute the
existence
of the chair. One member of the class however, was up and finished in
less
than a minute.


Weeks later when the grades were posted, the rest of the group wondered
how
he could have gotten an A when he had barely written anything at all.
What
did he write, they asked.


"What chair?"

Boss

There was a boss who was told by his boss that he had to get rid of at least one employee. So he narrowed the decision to one of two new employees, Jack or Mary. He then decided to speak to each one privately, and let their reactions help guide his decision.
So he called in Jack, explained the situation and, of course, Jack said he didn't want to lose his job, but he understood the boss's situation.

Then he called in Mary, and said, 'Mary, I've got a problem; By the end of the day, I've got to lay you or Jack off...'

And Mary says, 'Then you're gonna have to jack off, buster, I've got a headache!'



Weight Loss

Sardarji Jokes

SmileJokes of the Day For March 01, 2008

Point of view

The train has started moving. It is packed with people of all ages, mostly with the working men and women and young college guys and gals. Near the window, seated a old man with his 30 year old son. As the train moves by, the son is overwhelmed with joy as he was thrilled with the scenery outside..
    “See dad, the scenery of green trees moving away is very beautiful” This behavior from a thirty year old son made the other people feel strange about him. Every one started murmuring something or other about this son.” This guy seems to be a crack...” newly married Anup whispered to his wife.
     Suddenly it started raining... Rain drops fell on the travelers through the opened window. The Thirty year old son, filled with joy “see dad, how beautiful the rain is  ..."
    Anup's wife got irritated with the rain drops spoiling her new suit.
    Anup ," cant you see its raining, you old man, if your son is not feeling well get him soon to a mental asylum. and don’t disturb public henceforth"    
               
The old man hesitated first and then in a low tone replied " we are on the way back from hospital, my son got discharged today morning , he was a blind by birth, last week only he got his vision,  these rain and nature are new to his eyes.. Please forgive us for the inconvenience caused..."

The things we see may be right from our perspective until we know the truth. But when we know the truth our reaction to that will hurt even us. So try to understand the problem better before taking a harsh action.

 

 

Thanks & Regards,

 

Mohan D

 

Thursday, February 28, 2008

2 eight year old boys

Thursday, February 28, 2008 0

SmileJokes of the Day For Feb 28, 2008

Joke

Promising Management

 

A man walks into a cafe with a shotgun in one hand pulling a male buffalo with the other and says to the waiter, "Want coffee."

The waiter says, "Sure chief, coming right up." He gets the man a tall mug of coffee.

 

After drinking the coffee down in one gulp, he turns and blasts the buffalo with the shotgun, then just walks out.

The next morning the man returns. He has his shotgun in one hand pulling another male buffalo with the other.

 

He walks up to the counter and says to the waiter, "Want coffee."

The waiter says, "Whoa, Buddy! We're still cleaning up your mess from yesterday. What the heck was all that about, anyway?"

 

The man smiles and proudly says, "Training for upper management position. Come in, drink coffee, shoot the bull, leave mess for others to clean up, disappear for rest of day.

 

 ***

 

Two women that are dog owners are arguing about which dog is smarter....

First Woman: "My dog is so smart, every morning he waits for the paper boy to come around and then he takes the newspaper and brings it to me.

Second Woman: "I know..."

First Woman: "How?"

Second Woman: "My dog told me."

 ***

 

A man walks pass a beggar on the corner of the street where he works.

The beggar holds out his one hand and the man drops a coin into his hand.

One day the man walks pass the beggar again and notices the beggar is holding out both his hands.

He asks: “Why are you holding out both of your hands?”

The beggar replied, " You see sir, business is going so well I decided to open another branch".

Love and Marriage

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

SmileJokes of the Day For Feb 27, 2008

Wednesday, February 27, 2008 0

Friends

Sardarji Jokes

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Join Smile Jokes

Tuesday, February 26, 2008 0

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SmileJokes of the Day For Feb 26, 2008

Some more Blonde Jokes........

THE BLONDE TELEGRAM

Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock. The brunette balances their checkbook, then takes their last $600 dollars out west to another ranch where a man has a prize bull for sale.

Upon leaving, she tells her sister, "When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home."

The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she does want to buy it. The man tells her that he can sell it for $599, no less.

After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news. She walks into the telegraph office, and says, "I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home."

The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds, "It's just 99 cents a word."

Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette only has $1 left. She realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word. After thinking for a few minutes, she nods, and says, "I want you to send her the word, 'comfortable.'"

The telegraph operator shakes his head. "How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her the word, 'comfortable'?"

The brunette explains, "My sister's blonde, she'll read it very slow." 

***

THE GREAT BLONDE KIDNAP

A Blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom.

She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, "I've kidnapped you."

She then wrote a note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, A Blonde."

The Blonde then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents.

The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree.

The Blonde opened the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow Blonde?" 

***

AN OVERWEIGHT BLONDE

An overweight blonde went to see her doctor for some advice. The doctor advised that she run ten miles a day for thirty days. This, he promised, would help her lose as many as twenty pounds.

The blonde followed the doctor's advice, and, after thirty days, she was pleased to find that she had indeed lost the whole twenty pounds. She phoned the doctor and thanked him for the wonderful advice which produced such effective results.

At the end of the conversation, however, she asked one last question:

"How do I get home, since I am now 300 miles away?" 

THE BLONDE, THE BRUNETTE, THE REDHEAD

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead went into a bar and asked the bartender for some drinks:

Brunette: "I'll have a B and C."

Bartender: "What is a B and C?"

Brunette: "Bourbon and Coke."

Redhead: "And, I'll have a G and T."

Bartender: "What's a G and T?"

Redhead: "Gin and tonic."

Blonde: "I'll have a 15."

Bartender: "What's a 15?"

Blonde: "7 and 7"

***

THE JIGSAW PUZZLE

A blonde calls her husband at work one day and asks him, "Can you help me when you get home?"

"Sure," he replies. "What's the problem?"

"Well, I started a really hard puzzle and I can't even find the edge pieces."

"Look on the box," he said. "There's always a picture of what the puzzle is."

"It's a big rooster," she said.

The husband arrives home and tells his blonde wife, "Okay, put the corn flakes back in the box."  

 

Thanks

anil thakre

 
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