| Smile Jokes : 284 | SmileJokes of the Day For February 19, 2011

Two informally dressed ladies happened to start up a conversation during an endless wait in the LAX airport.

The first lady was an arrogant  California woman married to a wealthy man.

The second was a well mannered elderly woman from the South.

When the conversation centered on whether they had any children, the  California woman started by saying, "When my first child was born, my husband built a beautiful mansion for me."

The lady from the South commented, "Well, bless your heart."

The first woman continued, "When my second child was born, my husband bought me a beautiful Mercedes-Benz..

Again, the lady from the South commented, "Well, bless your heart."

The first woman continued boasting, "Then, when my third child was born, my husband bought me this exquisite diamond bracelet.

Yet again, the Southern lady commented, "Well, bless your heart."

The first woman then asked her companion, "What did your husband buy for you when you had your first child?"

"My husband sent me to charm school," declared the Southern lady.

"Charm school?" the first woman cried, "Oh, my God! What on earth for?"

The Southern lady responded, "Well for example, instead of saying "Who gives a shit?" I learned to say, "Well, bless your heart"....

 

 

 

 

 

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Liamvks@gmail 

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| Smile Jokes : 283 | Intelligent Indians

While visiting India, George Bush is invited to tea with Abdul Kalam.

 

He asks Kalam what his leadership philosophy is.

 

He says that, it is to surround himself with intelligent people.

 

Bush asks how he knows if they're intelligent.

 

"I do so by asking them the right questions," says Kalam. "Allow me to demonstrate."

 

Bush watches as Kalam phones Manmohan Singh and says, "Mr. Prime Minister, please answer this question: Your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or sister. Who is it?"

 

Manmohan immediately responds, "It's me, Sir !"

 

"Correct.. Thank you and good-bye" says Kalam. He hangs up and says," Did you get that, Mr. Bush?"

 

Bush nods: "Yes Mr. President. Thanks a lot. I'll definitely be using that!"

 

Bush, upon returning to Washington, decides he'd better put Condoleezza Rice to the test.

 

Bush summons her to the White House and says, "Condoleezza, I wonder if you can answer a question for me."

 

"Why, of course, sir. What's on your mind?"

 

Bush poses the question: "Uhh, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"

 

Rice was puzzled and finally asks, "Can I think about it and get back to you?" Bush agrees, and Rice leaves.

 

Rice immediately calls a meeting of senior senators, and they puzzle over the question for several hours, but nobody can come up with an answer. Finally, in desperation, Rice calls Colin Powell and explains the problem.

 

"Mr. Powell, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"

 

Powell answers immediately, "It's me, of course."

 

Much relieved, Rice rushes back to the White House, finds George Bush, and exclaims, "I know the answer, sir! I know who it is! It's our Colin Powell!"

 

And Bush replies in disgust, "Wrong ..

 

It's Manmohan Singh!"

 

 

 

 

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| Smile Jokes : 282 | SmileJokes of the Day For February 18, 2011

 

 

WIFE: "There's trouble with the car. It has water in the carburetor."

 

HUSBAND: "Water in the carburetor? That's ridiculous."

 

WIFE: "I tell you the car has water in the carburetor."

 

HUSBAND: "You don't even know what a carburetor is. I'll check it out. Where's the car?"

 

WIFE: "In the pool."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Liamvks@gmail 

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