| Smile Jokes : 261 | SmileJokes of the Day For February 07, 2011

 A doctor made it his regular habit to stop off at a bar for a hazelnut daiquiri on his way home.

The bartender knew of his habit, and would always have the drink waiting at precisely 5:03 p.m.

One afternoon, as the end of the work day approached, the bartender was dismayed to find that he was out of hazelnut extract.

Thinking quickly, he threw together a daiquiri made with hickory nuts and set it on the bar.

The doctor came in at his regular time, took one sip of the drink and exclaimed, "This isn't a hazelnut daiquiri!"

"No, I'm sorry," replied the bartender, "it's a hickory daiquiri, Doc."

 

 

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| Smile Jokes : 260 | SmileJokes of the Day For February 06, 2011

A blonde woman is terribly overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet. "I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you’ll have lost at least five pounds."

 

When the blonde returned, she shocked the doctor by losing nearly 20 pounds.

 

"Why, that’s amazing!" the doctor said. "Did you follow my instructions?"

 

The blonde nodded. "I’ll tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day."

 

"From hunger, you mean?" asked the doctor.

 

"No, from skipping."

 

 

 

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| Smile Jokes : 259 | SmileJokes of the Day For February 05, 2011

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.

it’s not true that married men live longer than single men. It only seems longer.

Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.

A man was complaining to a friend: "I had it all - money, a beautiful house, a big car, the love of a beautiful woman... Then, Pow! it was all gone!"
"What happened?" asked the friend.
"My wife found out..."

Wife: "Let's go out and have some fun tonight."
Husband: "Okay, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway light on."

A man rushes into his house and yells to his wife, "Martha, pack up your things! I just won the California lottery!"
Martha replies, "Shall I pack for warm weather or cold?"
The man responds, "I don't care. Just so long as you're out of the house by noon!"

Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street bald and still think they are beautiful!

I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months - I don't like to interrupt her while she speaks.

If your wife and a lawyer were drowning and you had to choose which to save, would you go to lunch or to a movie?

A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished.

 

 

 

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| Smile Jokes : 258 | Daily smile

 

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