The Housewife and the Gardener...

A wealthy housewife was looking out her bedroom window when she noticed her gardener working below. She opened the window and called down to him, "Ramon... please come up to my bedroom."

Ramon soon arrived and asked what he could do for her.

"Ramon," she said. "Please take off my heels."

Ramon did as he was asked.

"Now Ramon," she continued, "please takes off my stockings."

Ramon removed her stockings.

"And now take off my skirt and blouse," said the housewife.

Again, Ramon did as he was asked.

"And last, Ramon," said the housewife, "I want you to take off my underwear."

Ramon blushed and took off her underwear.

"Ramon," said the housewife as she looked deeply into his eyes, "If I ever catch you wearing my clothes again, you're fired!"

Join Our _? Click here

 

 

 

Nice....

 

 

Join Our _? Click here

 

 

 

1. There are 3 Male and 1 Female pencils in a box.

The Female pencil got pregnant!! Which Male pencil is responsible?

THE ONE WITHOUT THE RUBBER.

 

 

 

2. Woman in bed with husband's best friend, phone rings! 'YES'.. OK, BYE'.

She turns to her lover and says, THAT'S MY HUBBY, SAYS HE'S NOW GOLFING WITH YOU.

 

 

 

3. Three Roosters: normal, retarded and a gay.

Normal : cock-a-doodle-dooo !!!

Retarded : doodle-cock-a-dooo !!!

Gay : any-cock-will dooo !!!

 

 

 

4. Three Guys were introduced to a girl. Hi,.... I'm Peter, not a SAINT. I'm Paul not a POPE. I'm John not a BAPTIST...

The girl replied.. Hi.. I'm Mary, not a VIRGIN.

 

 

 

5. Girlfriends are appetizers. Taste good at any time.

Mistresses are Tomyams. Hot and spicy. Eaten frequently.

WIVES are Maggie. Eaten when there's nothing to eat.!!!

 

 

 

6. Income Tax office asked a Prostitute why she puts her occupation as CHICKEN FARMER.

She replied: I RAISED 5,000 COCKS LAST YEAR.!!

 

 

 

7. Yesterday's News:- A nun jogging at Jogger' Park was raped by 4 guys.

Today's News:- Nearly 100 nuns found jogging at the park.

Little Johnny's

Little Johnny's neighbors had a baby. Unfortunately, the baby was born without ears.

 

When the mother and new baby came home from the hospital, Johnny's family was invited over to see the baby.

 

Before they left their house, Little Johnny’s dad had a talk with him and explained that the baby had no ears. 

 

His dad also told him that if he so much as mentioned anything  about the baby's missing ears or even said  the word "ears" he would get the spanking of his life when they came back  home.

 

Little Johnny told his dad he understood completely. When Johnny looked in the crib he said, “What a beautiful baby."

 

The mother said, "Why, thank you, Little Johnny."

 

Johnny said, "He has beautiful little feet and beautiful little hands, a cute little nose and really beautiful eyes. Can he see?"

 

"Yes", the mother replied, "we are so thankful; the Doctor said he will have 20/20 vision."

 

"That's great," said Little Johnny, "'cuz he'd be shit-outta-luck if he needed glasses.

 

SmileJokes of the Day For Feb 13, 2008

A young reporter went to a retirement home to interview an aged but legendary explorer. The reporter asked the old man to tell him the most frightening experience he had ever had.

The old explorer said, "Once I was hunting Bengal tigers in the jungles of India. I was on a narrow path and my faithful native gunbearer was behind me. Suddenly the largest tiger I have ever seen leaped onto the path in front of us. I turned to get my weapon only to find the native had fled. The tiger leapt toward me with a mighty ROARRRR! I soiled myself."

The reporter said, "Under those circumstances anyone would have done the same."

The old explorer said, "No, not then - just now when I went 'ROARRRR!'"

 

Join Our _? Click here