The Union House

A dedicated shop steward was at a convention in Las Vegas and
decided to check out the local brothels.

When he got to the first one, he asked the madame, "Is this a union
house?"

"No, I'm sorry, it isn't," said the madame.

"Well, if I pay you $100, what cut do the girls get?" he asked.

"The house gets $80 and the girl gets $20."

Mightily offended at such unfair dealings, the man stomped off down
the street in search of a more equitable shop.

At the second one, he asked the madame, "Is this a union house?"

"No, I'm sorry, it isn't," said the madame.

"If I pay you $100, what cut do the girls get?" he asked again.

"The house gets $80 and the girl gets $20."

Again offended, the man stomped off down the street in search of a
more equitable shop.

His search continued until he finally reached a brothel where the
madame said, "Why yes, this is a union house."

"And if I pay you $100, what cut do the girls get?" he questioned.

"The girls get $80 and the house gets $20."

"That's more like it!" the man said. He looked around the room and
pointed to a stunningly attractive redhead. "I'd like her for the
night."

"I'm sure you would, sir," said the madame while gesturing to a
grotesque woman in her seventies in the corner, "but Ethel here has
seniority."

 

 

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Marcel Marceau

If you've ever been to California, especially the Los Angeles area,
you know that there are a lot of strange companies doing business out
there. Some of the strangest are the "agencies" that cater to
celebrities. Places that will, for a fee, analyze your best colors,
surroundings, wardrobe, you name it.

A bit up the road, the Gallo winery was looking for something for
their employees to do in the off-season. Most of the employees had
highly trained noses, due to their experience in the winery and with
wines.

So, the Gallo brothers took the incentive and opened up their own
agency in Beverly Hills. For a fee, of course, you could come in and
be "sniffed" by these trained noses. Afterwards, they would analyze
your best scents for perfume, flowers, incense, and so on.

Well, Marcel Marceau read about this in his Sunday paper, and he
decided that this was just the thing he'd been looking for. So, he
called the agency and set up an appointment for the coming Friday at
3:00pm.

Thursday came, and by this time Marcel was really excited about his
upcoming appointment.

He was at home, thinking about how he should prepare for his
"sniffing," when the phone rang: it was his agent. Marcel had to be
at an emergency benefit performance for natural disaster victims in
Australia. He had to be on the plane to Sydney at 3:00pm on Friday.

Marcel was crestfallen. He was so much looking forward to his
appointment, and now he would have to miss it.

Suddenly, he got an idea: "I'll call them. I'll try to move the
appointment up a few hours."

So, he called the agency and pleaded with the receptionist to
please, PLEASE, let him come in a few hours early for his "sniffing."

The receptionist, in her best Beverly Hills attitude, practically
glared him down through the phone line, saying, "Monsieur Marceau! We
will smell no mime before it's time!"

 

 

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