Name Please

A teacher showed only a leg of a bird and asked a student to show the name of the bird.
Student: Sorry mam !
Teacher: You fail!
Student: Sorry Mam. I can’t! Can I Go out side?
Teacher: What is your name?
The student showed his leg and said you tell please!!!!!!!

I'm the Boss

The boss was complaining in our staff meeting the other day that he wasn't getting any respect.

The next day, he brought a small sign that

Read:

"I'm the Boss!"

He then taped it to his office door.

Later that day when he returned from lunch, he found that someone had taped a note to the sign that said:

" Your wife called, she wants her sign back!"

 

 

Come Fly with me

 

Two blind pilots board the plane wearing dark glasses. One is using

a guide dog

and the other is tapping his way along the aisle with a cane.

Nervous laughter

spreads through the cabin, but the men enter the cockpit, the door

closes and

the engines start up.

 

The passengers begin glancing nervously around, searching for some

sign that

this is just a little practical joke. No one is forthcoming.

 

The plane moves faster and faster down the runway and the people

sitting in

the window seats realize they're headed straight for the water at

the edge of

the airport. As it begins to look as though the plane will plough

into the

the water, panicked screams fill the cabin.

 

At that moment, the plane lifts smoothly into the air. The

passengers relax and

laugh a little sheepishly and soon all retreat into their magazines,

secure in

the knowledge that the plane is in good

hands.

 

In the cockpit, one of the blind pilots turns to the other and

says, "Ya know,

Bob, one of these days, they're gonna scream too late and we're all

gonna die."

 

Joke of The Day For Jan 13, 2008

These are actual bumper stickers that were found on people's cars:



The proctologist called; they found your head.



I used to have a handle on life, but it broke off.



Guys; just because you have one,

doesn't mean you have to be one.



If you can read this, I can

slam on my brakes and sue you.



Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.



Don't like my driving?

Then quit watching me.



Save your breath. You'll need it to blow up your date.



Some people just don't know how to drive.

I call these people "Everybody But Me,"



Try not to let your mind wander, it's too small, it'll get lost.



Welcome to America! Now, learn to speak English.

prescription

 

Man phoned a retail pharmacy to talk about his prescription. He said to the pharmacist, "My doctor ordered this prescription for me. Your store filled it and gave me a bottle with 100 capsules in it about two weeks ago. I'm supposed to take one capsule every six hours and I've been doing that. This little packet came out of the bottle while I was getting my capsule once. The packet said, "do not eat" on it. That was four days ago, and I'm really hungry!"