Saturday, December 22, 2007

Humour

Saturday, December 22, 2007

271.

It is a shame that he corrects your English!!

Oh, I hired him for that only !

272.

I am sorry that I broke your rib also!!

Don't worry young lady - you can give me your rib by marrying me!

*****

273.

Why is he walking in the office with his collar up?

It seems the new lady recruit called him 'sir'!

*****

274.

Why did you stop writing to his newspaper?

He warned me not to write anything on my 'corrupt' boss who is a friend of his!!

*****

275.

You have not been concentrating on your work - where is your mind wondering?

I am in 'love' with your wife, sir!!

*****

276.

Since when did he start wearing the 'wig'?

Ever since his girlfriend asked him!

*****

277.

What is she dreaming of?

Maybe of a White Christmas!

No; she is dreaming of her latest boyfriend!

*****

278.

You are coming to office in 'form' these days!

I am a married man now and it is my wife's wish that I dress well to look like a respectable husband of hers!

*****

279.

I became a victim of a pick-pocket!!

How much money was there in your purse?

A rupee; but the purse was worth a hundred bucks!

*****

280.

I am becoming senile!!

Then it is time for you to retire, sir!

*****

281

What made you choose the profession of a driver when you have many other talents?

My uncle who is also a driver, married his Director's daughter when he was her driver by falling in love with her!

*****

282.

Why are you accepting bribes to get jobs done when you are paid your salary every month?

If my Boss can accept bribes, whey shouldn't I?

*****

283.

That boss of yours is a nut and a fool of the higest order!

Don't say it again!  If he hears it, he will refuse your maternity leave!!

*****

284.

Do you know that your Boss ransacked your table drawers during your absence?

And what did he find in it?

Only your jokes written on him and his staff!

*****

285.

What have you learnt in the Government office?

That hard work and honesty do not pay, but corruption pays!

*****

286.

He is not afraid to die whereas I want to live a hundred years!

It is because he is a bachelor and is fed-up of life, dear!

*****

287.

You must work like a slave and eat like a king!

Whereas I work like a king and eat like a king too!

*****

288.

When I am your Boss, why are you not calling me, 'sir'!

Because your English is very poor and I have to correct you!

*****

289.

For me, money is everything!

Whereas, for me, my wife is everything and money is something!

*****

290.

I don't have money to get married - what do you think I should do?

Marry a rich girl and be a henpecked husband, like me!

*****

291.

Why are you so upset?

You see, I proposed to her and she said she wishes to marry my nephew!!

*****

292.

What does your husband say about us?

That we are two fat 'pumpkins' who 'mock' at others!

*****

293.

Did you say that you get pension, sir?

No dear, not pension, but tension!!

*****

294.

What did the beggar say after giving him the money?

That he doesn't want the money but wants a cigarette packet!!

*****

 

Ends......1st Part.

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