SmileJokes of the Day For March 03, 2008

 

A Good Excuse

One of my co-workers got a speeding ticket and was attending a

Defensive-driving course to have points erased from her license...

The instructor, a police officer, emphasized that being on time was

Crucial and that the classroom doors would be locked when each session began.

A minute after one class started, a young lady knocked on the locked Door.

The officer opened it and asked, "Why are you late?"

"I was trying not to get another ticket," came the clever retort.

Missing Husband

Rick was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him “Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in less than 10 seconds, AND IT BETTER BE THERE!!”

The next morning Rick got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, and brought the box back in the house.

She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Rick has been missing since Friday.

Please pray for him

SmileJokes of the Day For March 02, 2008

Getting a Library Card
A quiet little man was brought before a judge. The judge looked down at the man and then at the charges and then down at the little man in amazement. “Can you tell me in your own words what happened?” he asked the man.

“I’m a mathematician dealing in the nature of proof,” said the little man.

“Yes, go on,” said the astounded judge.

“Well, I was at the library, I found the books I wanted and got in line to check them out. When I got to the front of the line, they told me my library card had expired and I had to get a new one. So I went to the registration office and got in another line to get the proper forms. I filled out the forms for another card and got back into a third line for my card.”

“And?” said the judge.

“When he asked, ‘Can you prove you’re from New York City?’ … I stabbed him.”

 

Two Eggs

We went to breakfast at a restaurant where the "seniors' special" was
Two eggs, bacon, hash browns and toast for $1.99.

"Sounds good," my wife said. "But I don't want the eggs."

"Then I'll have to charge you two dollars and forty-nine cents because
You’re ordering a la carte," the waitress warned her.

"You mean I'd have to pay for not taking the eggs?" my wife asked incredulously.

"YES!!" stated the waitress.

"I'll take the special then." my wife said.

"How do you want your eggs?" the waitress asked.

"Raw and in the shell," my wife replied.

She took the two eggs home.