Dad will never say

Top Ten Things You'll Never Hear a Dad Say

 

10. Well, how 'bout that?... I'm lost! Looks like we'll have to stop and ask for directions.

 

9. You know Pumpkin, now that you're thirteen, you'll be ready for unchaperoned car dates. Won't that be fun?

 

8. I noticed that all your friends have a certain "up yours" attitude ... I like that.

 

7. Here's a credit card and the keys to my new car -- GO CRAZY.

 

6. What do you mean you wanna play football? Figure skating not good enough for you, son?

 

5. Your Mother and I are going away for the weekend ... you might want to consider throwing a party.

 

4. Well, I don't know what's wrong with your car. Probably one of those doo-hickey thingies -- you know -- that makes it run or something. Just have it towed to a mechanic and pay whatever he asks.

 

3. No son of mine is going to live under this roof without an earring -- now quit your belly-aching, and let's go to the mall.

 

2. Whaddya wanna go and get a job for? I make plenty of money for you to spend.

 

1. Father's Day? aahh -- don't worry about that -- it's no big deal.

Two little boys

 

Two little boys go into the grocery store. One is nine, one is four. The nine year old grabs a box of tampons from the shelf and carries it to the register for check-out.

The cashier asks "Oh, these must be for your mom, huh?"
The nine year old replies "Nope, not for my mom."

Without thinking, the cashier responded "Well, they must be for your sister then?"
The nine year old quipped, "Nope, not for my sister either."

The cashier had now become curious "Oh. Not for your mom and not for your sister, who are they for?"
The nine year old says "They're for my four year old little brother."

The cashier is surprised "Your four year old little brother??"

The nine year old explains: "Well yeah, they say on TV if you wear one of these you can swim or ride a bike and my little brother can't do either of them!"

 

Joke of The Day For Jan 06, 2008

A sales manager and an operation manager went bear hunting. While the operation manager stayed in the cabin, the sales manager went out looking for a bear.

He soon found a huge bear, shot at it but only wounded it. The enraged bear charged toward the sales manager, who started running for the cabin as fast as he could. He ran pretty fast but the bear was just a little faster and gained on him with every step.

Just as he reached the open cabin door, he tripped and fell flat. Too close behind to stop, the bear jumped over him and went rolling into the cabin.

The sales manager jumped up, closed the cabin door and yelled to his friend inside, "You skin this one while I go and get another!"

 

Joke

An advertising team is working very late at night on a project due the next morning. Suddenly, a Genie appears before them and offers to each of them one wish.

The copywriter says: "I've always dreamed of writing the great American novel and having my work studied in schools across the land. I'd like to go to a tropical island where I can concentrate and write my masterpiece."
The Genie says, "No problem!" and poof! The copywriter is gone.

The art director says: "I want to create a painting so beautiful that it would hang in the Louvre Museum in Paris for all the world to admire. I want to go to the French countryside to work on my painting."
The Genie says, "Your wish is granted!" and poof! The art director is gone.

The Genie then turns to the account executive and says, "And what is your wish?"
The account executive says, "I want those two assholes back here right now."