Doctor

"Doctor, please hurry. My son swallowed a razor-blade."

"Don't panic, I'm coming immediately. Have you done anything yet ?"

"Yea, I shaved with the electric razor."

 

 

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"Doctor, Doctor, You've got to help me - I just can't stop my hands shaking!"

"Do you drink a lot?"

"Not really - I spill most of it!"

 

 

 

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"Doctor, doctor, will I be able to play the violin after the operation?"

"Yes, of course..."

"Great! I never could before!"

 

 

 

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 A man speaks frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"

"Is this her first child?" the doctor queries.

"No, you idiot!" the man shouts. "This is her husband!"

 

 

 

 

God is missing !

Two little boys, aged 8 and 10, are excessively mischievous. They are always getting into trouble and their parents know all about it. If any mischief occurs in their town, the two boys are probably involved.

The boys' mother heard that a preacher in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The preacher agreed, but he asked to see them individually. So the mother sent the 8 year old first, in the morning, with the older boy to see the preacher in the afternoon.

The preacher, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly,

 

"Do you know where God is, son?"

The boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there wide-eyed with his mouth hanging open. So the preacher repeated the question in an even sterner tone,

"Where is God?!"

Again, the boy made no attempt to answer. The preacher raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed, "Where is God?!"

 The boy screamed and bolted from the room, ran directly home and dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him.

 When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, "What happened?"

 The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, "Boss we are in BIG trouble this time."

 ("I just LOVE reading next line again and again")

 ...........

 ...

 ...

 ...

 ...

 ...

 ...

 ....

 "GOD is missing, and they think we did it!"

 

 

 

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Job

Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources person asked a young applicant fresh out of Business School, "And what starting salary are you looking for?"

The applicant said, "In the neighborhood of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package."

The interviewer said, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every two years - say, a red Corvette?"

The applicant sat up straight and said, "Wow! Are you kidding?"

And the interviewer replied, "Yeah, but you started it."

 

 

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Joke of The Day For Jan 02, 2008

Sardar Gurbachan Singh is appearing for his University final examination which consists of Y/N type questions.

 
He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his wallet out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet - Y for Heads and N for Tails. Within half an hour he is all done whereas the rest of the class is sweating it out.

 
During the last few minutes, he is seen desperately throwing the coin, swearing and sweating.


The invigilator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on.

 
"Oye, I finished the exam in half and hour ". "But yaar ", he says,

 

 

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