Kids Jokes

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?" Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."

The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"
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A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah". The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".
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A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, "I'm drawing God." The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like." Without missing a beat or look king up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."
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The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'that’s Michael, He's a doctor.' A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she’s dead."
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A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face..” "Yes," the class said. "Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary positions the blood doesn't run into my feet?" A little fellow shouted, "Because your feet ain't empty."
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The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching." Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples.

Thanks

Sughapirya

Joke

A man went fishing one day. He looked over the side of his boat, and saw a snake with a frog in its mouth. Feeling sorry for the frog, he reached down, gently took the frog from the snake, and set the frog free - but then he felt sorry for the snake.



He looked around the boat, but he had no food. All he had was a bottle of bourbon, so he opened the bottle and gave the snake a few shots. The snake went off happy, the frog was happy, and the man was happy to have performed such good deeds. He thought everything was great until about ten minutes passed and he heard something knock against the side of the boat.



With stunned disbelief, the fisherman looked down and saw the snake was back with two frogs!

Dont Complain, funny joke

 

 A husband visited a marriage counselor and said, "When we were first married,

 I would come home from the office,

My wife would bring my slippers and our cute little dog would run around barking.

 Now after ten years it's all different.

 I come home, the dog brings the slippers and my wife runs around barking."

"Why complain?" said the counselor, "You re still getting the same service!"

Fun

Owner of a new departmental store called his new salesmen and told “Always remember that the customer is very important.  He is the king.  You have to explain patiently whatever he asks and please remember 'Whatever he says is Right'." 

 

All the sales men went to their allotted departments.  The owner was observing them through TV.  Excepting one salesman all were doing good business.  He called that salesman in the evening and scolded him “I have been watching you.  Though many customers came you have not been able to sell even a single item. Why"

 

Salesman replied, “Sir, I have been following your instructions very carefully.  Whenever a customer comes, I explain him the details of the product, its special features and clarifies all his doubt.  In the end they comment that the price of the product is very high.  I remember you words and tell them promptly "You are Right" and they leave!"

Little Johnny

At Sunday school they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings.

Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs.

Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and said,

 "Johnny, what is the matter?"

Little Johnny responded, "I have pain in my side. I think I'm going to have a wife."

SmileJokes of the Day For March 06, 2008

While my friend was working as a receptionist for an eye surgeon, a very angry woman stormed up to her desk..

"Someone stole my wig while I was having surgery yesterday," she complained.

The doctor came out and tried to calm her down.

"I assure you that no one on my staff would have done such a thing," he said.

 "Why do you think your wig was taken here?"

"After the operation, I noticed the wig I was wearing was cheap-looking and ugly.

 It surely was not the one I came in wearing!"

"I think," explained the surgeon gently, "that means your cataract operation was a success."

 

Kids' Letters to God

Dear God, In Sunday School they told us what you do. Who does it when you are on vacation? - Jane

 

Dear God, I think about you sometimes even when I'm not praying. - Elliot

 

Dear God, Did you really mean "do unto others as they do unto you?" Because if you did, then I'm going to fix my brother. - Darla

 

Dear God, I didn't think orange went with purple until I saw the sunset you made on Tuesday. - Margret

 

Dear God, Did you mean for the giraffe to look like that or was it an accident? - Norma

 

Dear God, Instead of letting people die and having to make new ones, why don't you just keep the ones You have now? - Jane

 

Dear God, What does it mean you are a Jealous God? I thought you had everything. - Jane

 

Dear God, Thank You for the baby brother, but what I prayed for was a puppy. - Joyce

 

Dear God, Why is Sunday school on Sunday? I thought it was supposed to be our day of rest. - Tom L.

 

Dear God, Please send me a pony. I never asked for anything before, you can look it up. - Bruce

 

Dear God, My brother is a rat. You should give him a tail. Ha ha. - Danny

 

Dear God, of all the people who work for You, I like Noah and David the best. - Rob

 

Dear God, We read Thomas Edison made light. But in school they said you did it. So, I bet him stole your idea. Sincerely, Donna