2 eight year old boys

 

Two eight-year-old boys played in a vacant lot everyday, and across the street was a brothel. Day after day they saw men go up, knock on the door, go in, and eventually come out happy and smiling.

One day they became curious and decided to see what was going on. The madam answers the door and looks down at the boys, and asks what they want. They explain what they saw, and tell her that they are curious as to what goes on inside.

The Madam thinks for a moment, shrugs, and says, "Do you have 5 dollars?" Both boys dig deep into their pockets and come up with a total of 50 cents.

She says, "OK, that will have to do," as she proceeds to lift her skirt and pull down her panties. She tells both boys to take a sniff, which they do. She closes the door and the kids proceed home. About halfway down the block one boy turns to the other and says, "Ya know Joey, I don't think I could a stood 5 dollars worth of that.

 

 

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SmileJokes of the Day For Feb 28, 2008

A woman went to the undertakers to have one last look at her dearly departed husband.

 

The instant she saw him she started crying.

 

One of the undertakers strides up to provide comfort in this somber moment. Through her tears she explains that she is upset because her dearest Albert was wearing a black suit, and it was his dying wish to be buried in a blue suit.

 

The undertaker apologizes and explains that traditionally, they always put the bodies in a black suit, but he’d see what he could arrange. The next day she returned to the undertakers to have one last moment with Albert before his funeral the following day. When the undertaker pulls back the curtain, she manages to smile through her tears as Albert is resplendent in a smart blue suit.

 

She says to the undertaker “Wonderful, wonderful, but where did you get that beautiful blue suit?”

 

“Well, yesterday afternoon after you left, a man about your husband’s size was brought in and he was wearing a blue suit. His wife explained that she was very upset as he had always wanted to be buried in a black suit,” the undertaker replied.

 

The wife smiled at the man.

 

He continued, “After that, it was simply a matter of swapping the heads.”

Joke

Promising Management

 

A man walks into a cafe with a shotgun in one hand pulling a male buffalo with the other and says to the waiter, "Want coffee."

The waiter says, "Sure chief, coming right up." He gets the man a tall mug of coffee.

 

After drinking the coffee down in one gulp, he turns and blasts the buffalo with the shotgun, then just walks out.

The next morning the man returns. He has his shotgun in one hand pulling another male buffalo with the other.

 

He walks up to the counter and says to the waiter, "Want coffee."

The waiter says, "Whoa, Buddy! We're still cleaning up your mess from yesterday. What the heck was all that about, anyway?"

 

The man smiles and proudly says, "Training for upper management position. Come in, drink coffee, shoot the bull, leave mess for others to clean up, disappear for rest of day.

 

 ***

 

Two women that are dog owners are arguing about which dog is smarter....

First Woman: "My dog is so smart, every morning he waits for the paper boy to come around and then he takes the newspaper and brings it to me.

Second Woman: "I know..."

First Woman: "How?"

Second Woman: "My dog told me."

 ***

 

A man walks pass a beggar on the corner of the street where he works.

The beggar holds out his one hand and the man drops a coin into his hand.

One day the man walks pass the beggar again and notices the beggar is holding out both his hands.

He asks: “Why are you holding out both of your hands?”

The beggar replied, " You see sir, business is going so well I decided to open another branch".

Love and Marriage

The child was a typical four-year-old girl - cute, inquisitive, bright as a new penny.

 

When she expressed difficulty in grasping the concept of marriage, her father decided to pull out his wedding photo album, thinking visual images would help.

 

One page after another, he pointed out the bride arriving at the church, the entrance, the wedding ceremony, the recessional, the reception, etc.

 

"Now do you understand?" he asked.

 

"I think so," she said, "is that when mommy came to work for us?"