Teachers Jokes

A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as they were on the way to church service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" One bright little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping

 

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Four high school boys afflicted with spring fever skipped morning classes. After lunch they reported to the teacher that they had a flat tire.
Much to their relief she smiled and said: "Well, you missed a test today so take seats apart from one another and take out a piece of paper."
Still smiling, she waited for them to sit down. Then she said:
"First Question: Which tire was flat?"

 

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On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students:

"The female dormitory is out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time. The second time you will be fined $60. A third time will cost you a fine of $180. Are there any questions?"

A male student inquired, "How much for a season pass?"

 

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Early one morning, a mother went in to wake up her son. "Wake up, son. It's time to go to school!" 
"But why, Mom? I don't want to go." 
"Give me two reasons why you don't want to go." 
"Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me, too!" 
"Oh, that's no reason not to go to school. Come on now and get ready." 
"Give me two reasons why I should go to school." 
"Well, for one, you're 52 years old. And for another, you're the Principal!"

JUST A FEW GOOD SMILES & LAUGHS.....

• Blessed are those who hunger and thirst, for they are sticking to their diets.
• Life is an endless struggle full of frustrations and challenges, but eventually you find a hair-stylist you like.
• Perhaps you know why women over fifty don't have babies: They would put them down somewhere and forget where they left them.
• One of the life's mysteries is how a two pound box of candy can make a woman gain five pounds.
• It's frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
• I finally got my head together, and my body fell apart.
• The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing in the right place, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.
• Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.
• Age doesn't always bring wisdom. Sometimes age comes alone.
• Life not only begins at forty, it begins to show.
• Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.
• Sometimes I think I understand everything, then I regain consciousness.
• You don't stop laughing because you grow old; you grow old because you stop laughing.
• I don't mind the rat race, but I could do with a little more cheese.
• I had to give up jogging for my health. My thighs kept rubbing together and setting my pantyhose on fire.
• Amazing! You just hang something in your closet for a while, and it shrinks two sizes.
• The only time a woman wishes she were a year older is when she is expecting a baby.
• Freedom of the press means no-iron clothes.
• Inside some of us is a thin person struggling to get out, but she can usually be sedated with a few pieces of chocolate cake.
• Can it be a coincidence that "STRESSED" is "DESSERTS" spelled backwards.

Joke of The Day For Jan 17, 2008

A store manager overheard a clerk saying to a customer, "No, ma'am, we haven't had any for some weeks now, and it doesn't look as if we'll be getting any soon."
Alarmed by what was being said, the manager rushed over to the customer who was walking out the door and said, "That isn't true, ma'am. Of course, we'll have some soon. In fact, we placed an order for it a couple of weeks ago."
Then the manager drew the clerk aside and growled, "Never, never, never, never say we don't have something.
If we don't have it, say we ordered it and it's on its way.
Now, what was it she wanted?"
"Rain."