(Life is getting much too serious, yes? Who doesn't need a daily smile? )
Mrs. Brown is the church Matron, and she has become very famous for the baked beans she makes for every
picnick or church potluck. The annual Mothers Day Pot Luck Dinner was tomorrow, and as usual Mrs. Brown set about preparing her baked beans for the meal. She had set everything to going on the stove, and was called Away to the door.
Mrs. Brown’s son Billy came running into a freshly waxed kitchen, with his BB gun in one hand and a fist full of BB’s in the other. He slipped on the freshly waxed floor, and wouldn’t you know it, the BB’s flew right into the pot of baking beans.
Mrs. Brown walked into the kitchen and scolded little Billy for running indoors, but not wanting to get into any further trouble he said nothing about the BB’s going into the pot of simmering beans.
The next day came, and the Potluck was an enormous success. As usual, Mrs. Brown’s beans were the favorites and were quickly eaten all up. Not a single bean left in the pot.
The next morning Mrs. Brown receives a phone call from the church secretary. Mrs. Brown she says, um I loved your beans as always, but did you perhaps add anything, or change your recipe? Mrs. Brown replied why No, it was the same recipe as I always prepare, Why? The secretary says, Well, um I bent over to feed
My cat this morning, and I shot the Canary!
Thanks
Mala
It seems that a lawyer had a little bit too much to drink and on his way home rear-ended the car in front of him.
The lawyer got out of his car, walked over to the driver of the other car and said, "Boy, are you in trouble! I'm a lawyer!"
The driver looked out his window and said, "No, you're in trouble. I'm a judge."
***
A priest wanted to go to the post office, so he asked a little boy the way. The boy took him to the post office. The priest said to the boy, "Thank you. Come to the church tomorrow and I will show you the way to Heaven." The boy turned and said, "But you don't even know the way to the post office."
After Receiving an Invitation to an Inventors' Ball: Edison thought it would be an illuminating experience. Watt reckoned it would be a good way to let off steam. Stephenson thought the whole idea was loco. Wilbur Wright accepted, provided he and Orville could get a flight. Morse's reply: "I'll be there on the dot. Can't stop now must dash."
A new supermarket opened near my house. It has an automatic water mister to keep the produce fresh. Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of fresh rain. When you approach the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and experience the scent of fresh hay. When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cluck and cackle, and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs frying. The veggie department features the smell of fresh buttered corn. Though I do have to say... I don't buy my toilet paper there.
--Waiter, this lobster has only one claw.
-- I'm sorry, sir. It must have been in a fight.
--Well, bring me the winner then.
A blonde, carrying a baby in her arms, enters a pharmacy and asks to use the infant scale to weigh the baby. The clerk explains that the infant scale is out for repair, but she could figure out the infant's weight by weighing mother and baby together on the adult scale, then weighing the mother alone and subtracting the second amount from the first. "Oh, that will never work!" groaned the blonde. "I'm not the mother, I'm the aunt!"
Sughapirya
Two lawyers were discussing a secretary in their firm:
First lawyer: "Marsha really dresses well!"
2nd lawyer: "...And FAST, too!"
Wife: "You always carry my photo in your wallet to the office. Why?"
Hubby: "When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears."
Wife: "See how miraculous and powerful I am for you?"
Hubby: "Yes, I see your picture and say to me, 'What other problem can be greater than this one?'"
