JUST A FEW GOOD SMILES & LAUGHS.....

• Blessed are those who hunger and thirst, for they are sticking to their diets.
• Life is an endless struggle full of frustrations and challenges, but eventually you find a hair-stylist you like.
• Perhaps you know why women over fifty don't have babies: They would put them down somewhere and forget where they left them.
• One of the life's mysteries is how a two pound box of candy can make a woman gain five pounds.
• It's frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
• I finally got my head together, and my body fell apart.
• The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing in the right place, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.
• Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.
• Age doesn't always bring wisdom. Sometimes age comes alone.
• Life not only begins at forty, it begins to show.
• Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.
• Sometimes I think I understand everything, then I regain consciousness.
• You don't stop laughing because you grow old; you grow old because you stop laughing.
• I don't mind the rat race, but I could do with a little more cheese.
• I had to give up jogging for my health. My thighs kept rubbing together and setting my pantyhose on fire.
• Amazing! You just hang something in your closet for a while, and it shrinks two sizes.
• The only time a woman wishes she were a year older is when she is expecting a baby.
• Freedom of the press means no-iron clothes.
• Inside some of us is a thin person struggling to get out, but she can usually be sedated with a few pieces of chocolate cake.
• Can it be a coincidence that "STRESSED" is "DESSERTS" spelled backwards.

Joke of The Day For Jan 17, 2008

A store manager overheard a clerk saying to a customer, "No, ma'am, we haven't had any for some weeks now, and it doesn't look as if we'll be getting any soon."
Alarmed by what was being said, the manager rushed over to the customer who was walking out the door and said, "That isn't true, ma'am. Of course, we'll have some soon. In fact, we placed an order for it a couple of weeks ago."
Then the manager drew the clerk aside and growled, "Never, never, never, never say we don't have something.
If we don't have it, say we ordered it and it's on its way.
Now, what was it she wanted?"
"Rain."

Joke of The Day For Jan 16, 2008

Super Computer

The Super Computer stood at the end of the Computer Company's production line. At which point the guided tour eventually arrived. The salesman stepped forward to give his prepared demo.

"This", he said, "is the Super Computer. It will give an intelligent answer to any question you may care to ask it".

At which a Clever Guest stepped forward - there is always one - and spoke into the Computer's microphone.

"Where is my father?" he asked.

There was a whirring of wheels and flashing of lights that the manufacturers always use to impress lay people, and then a little card popped out.

On it were printed the words: Fishing off Goa.

Clever Guest laughed.

"Actually", he said, "My father is dead"!

It had been a tricky question! The salesman, carefully chosen for his ability to think fast on his feet, immediately replied that he was sorry the answer was unsatisfactory, but as computers were precise, perhaps he might care to rephrase his question and try again?

Clever Guest thought, went to the Computer and this time said, "Where is my mother's husband?"

Again there was a whirring of wheels and a flashing of lights. And again a little card popped out. Printed on it were the words, "Dead. But your father is still fishing off Goa."

 

Thought for the Day

Thought for the Day

January 16, 2008

Time

I find that today builds into tomorrow.
I find that we don't just "get somewhere" -- we go there, one day at a time.
I find it a luxurious sensation to be sane..
And what is time to me now? It is a most precious asset.
I have the luxury of being able to cherish the memory of yesterday,
to live today with serenity, to wait for tomorrow.
I find great contentment in just knowing where I was and where I am.
And I am grateful; grateful for the existence of Alcoholics Anonymous;
Grateful to my God for leading me to the doors of AA and to himself,
Grateful for hope.
I am grateful for this minute. My eternity may be in it.
c. 1986 The AA Grapevine, Inc., The Best Of The Grapevine [Vol. 2],  p. 21

Thought to Ponder . . .

Life is an ongoing miracle.

AA-related 'Alconym' . . .

T I M E = This Is My Eternity.